Now I Get It! Why Parents Want To Buy a House Before Having Children...

• Children need a place to RUN!

In case you didn't know... children (specially toddlers) need something to do.  The more tiring the activity, the more likely the child will nap 'longer'.  So now I understand why it is important to take children outside 'daily' (as the daycare officials say).  However, if you own a home and have a fenced in backyard... your children can run and play outside almost all day... get tired, do something, nap longer... keep you sane longer... etc.

If it was up to Jonas, he'd stay outside ALL DAY...

We're in the process of owning a home.  Let's see how it pans out.  

• No neighbors upstairs trying to give us lung cancer.

Neighbors.  Hmm.  I have moved every single year after getting married. 

First time, I moved from my mom's to live with my husband.  

2nd move, I was pregnant with Jonas and needed a deleaded apartment (I know some don't care about this, I do)... by the way, looking for an apartment while 'pregnant' happens to be harder than I thought.  People seem to not want children in their apartments--mainly so they don't have to pay to delead it, etc.  

PLEASE KNOW YOUR RIGHTS:  You cannot be denied an apartment for rent because you are pregnant or have children or because the place is not deleaded!  Unless the owners live in the building.

There was a man who was outright rude, mean because he saw I was pregnant and the place was not deleaded.  He seemed angry at my 'wasting his time'.  There aren't a lot of places that are deleaded.  It's a rare find.  (I didn't know all this until I had Mya).

3rd move, with Jonas, to a place with 2 bedrooms (closer to each other), better neighborhood (so you don't have to hear the drug dealers' party and their bragging about their 'empire'; so that no one steals from your car while you're parked out of the street), and no rats (if someone lives with a cat and brags about no rodents--beware!  It may be they have the cat for a reason).  

4th move, with Jonas and second pregnancy... because the condo was for 'sale'.  Okay... this was the worst search for an apartment, with the best results--in a weird way.

The search for a deleaded apartment proved impossible.  I was almost due so I was in a hurry to find an apartment... so I started looking at apartments that weren't deleaded (or it was just unknown).  It seemed like the whole world was trying to hide from my obviously pregnant self.  

At one point, the lady the was going to show me the apartment, saw me pregnant getting out of the car, and REFUSED to let me 'see' the apartment.  THIS IS DISCRIMINATION, according to the HUD laws.  I knew the owner didn't live in the building and I told her she was discriminating against me... but she just said, the apartment is not deleaded and I don't want to lose my license.  Wow.  Anyway, I filed a complaint against her.  This was in May 2010, now it's December and the investigator assigned to my case decided to take it further because of "probable cause".  This just means I got appear at a public hearing in January.  I didn't think it was going to go this far, all I was looking for was basically an apology.  Then they started lying... wow, they lied badly... they twisted everything up and made it seem as though I was the crazy one--that they NEVER denied letting me see the apartment.  Well, I just found out they have another lawsuit against them.  I'm not sure where this is going... I'm just making sure they CANNOT do this to somebody else.  By the way, isn't it weird that they didn't let me see the same apartment I already saw 3 yrs back when the man was really rude to me... yeah, he's getting sued also.  I didn't know until later.

Anyway... neighbors upstairs smoke so much, the smoke comes into our house through the bathroom.  I've complained... but I just don't want to deal with this anymore.  I've only been at this apartment for 5 months.

• Protect those expensive toys with your own storage.

Okay.  Who knew that children's toys would be SOOO expensive???  If bought brand new.  However, I've learned that it's best to buy them used, like in yard sales and 'building 19' or other used stores... make sure you wash them well.  

However, if you don't own a home, you run the risk of living in an apartment without secure storage... as is our case.  Small apartment cannot hold all our things... so a lot of our stuff is just vulnerable to... you know, those who take something that doesn't belong to them?

And so, finally, this is why we have decided to own a home NOW... other than the fact that houses are selling SO cheap right now... and that interest rates are at 4% right now... and that now that I'm not working--for some weird reason, I'm getting more help to buy a home than when I was working full time.  Hey, I've payed my taxes :).

Mommy- what’s your schedule like?

 

God’s will for me…

I KNOW that Scripture says our purpose is to glorify God with my life.

I believe I glorify God in my life through my obedience to His words.

His words are… umm… a lot!

But when asked what the most important commandment was, Jesus said that loving God was first and the second was loving our neighbors as ourselves.

I love God by obeying Him and loving others.

I love others by… well one of the ways is by meeting others’ needs around me.  Helping others when they need the help (usually when they can’t get something done on their own).

So, I read the Bible to know what His words are and strive to obey them in my life… which requires trust.  And then I’d like to live my life more aware of those who are in need around me (family, friends or strangers)… and not be too quick to say “no, I can’t help you today—but what about tomorrow”. 

Around me right now I have very needy people.  I mainly have Jonas and Mya—who cannot feed themselves, clothe themselves, put themselves to sleep, change their own diapers, take a bath, brush their teeth/gum, go to the park on their own, etc.  So it is my responsibility to help them and meet their basic needs.

I believe it is to God’s glory that I take care of my children’s needs.

A day schedule “could” go something like this—IF I sleep through the night… IF daddy’s not home… IF there’s nothing else planned (appts, etc), which means I’ve never done this just like this in one day…. it’s just an idea… not necessarily my ideal :):

5 am         Feed Mya

8 am         Feed Mya/change diaper

8:30 am    Change Jonas’ diaper/Breakfast with Jonas

9:30 am    Clean up kitchen/do one load of laundry

10:00 am   Mya sleeps.  Jonas and I watch t.v. (Sesame street is great nowadays/play the next day with his toys instead of tv or go outside to play/and alternate)

(while tv plays, I clean up living room and dining room;  when we play, Jonas and I pick up his bedroom and toys after we play;

11 am       Snack with Jonas (tuna sandwich or with crackers).

11:30 am   Feed Mya/change diaper; Jonas plays.

12:00 pm  Bathe Mya or Jonas and get them ready.

12:30 pm  Make lunch; eat lunch

1:30 pm    Jonas and Mya take a nap.

--I take this time to:  make important phone calls and cross out to do items for the day (as many as possible in the time allotted)/ put away laundry.

2:30 pm    pick up kitchen if sesame st. day/ pick up living rm and dining rm if not.

3:00 pm    feed Mya/Help Jasmill with college apps

4:00 pm   Snack with Jonas/Go outside.  (playdate; park; walk outside; visit family; etc)… (if we went out in the morning, we may stay in through the afternoon… or vice versa)

6:00 pm   Prep dinner/Jonas eats dinner.  Feed Mya.

7:15 pm   Clean up kitchen.

7:30 pm   Rest time… as is possible… read with Jonas.

8 pm        Jonas has time with daddy then bed time for Jonas. 

8:30 pm    Daddy and mommy eat dinner.  I do dishes… and get ready for bed—pick up bedroom and bathroom.

9:30 pm    Mya’s last feeding.

10-12 pm     My time (depending…)

Doing this everyday could make me go crazy… which is why this can’t be done everyday.  I go with the day’s flow and am flexible.   

I wish everyday of his life was the same… I know the importance of routine.  But since Jonas is not going to school… we’re not being strict about a specific bedtime.  I can always make sure he’s sleepy earlier or later… by manipulating nap time.  If he will be awake late into the night… he naps later.  If he will be going to bed earlier… we may have nap time earlier.

Hubby has decided to prep dinner on the days he’s off.  Yay!!  He likes it and reminds him of his father.  And we’ve decided he should actually have ‘off’ days.  Too much work can make us both cranky.

Work… Work… Work… Then Poof! We’re gone.

 

My aunt Rosa was the first person I knew closely who has passed away (other than Soila R.I.P)… She is the first family member.  I grew up being close to her.  Hey, we even shared beds.  Cancer took her life SO suddenly on Sept 23, 2010.  So suddenly.  None of us expected this at all.  She looked so full of life.  And she never complained about anything except a pain here and there “because of hard work”.  She was a housekeeper at a hotel… and she was 65.  Just almost nobody knew her age since she didn’t look it nor dress it :). 

I remember us in front of the long mirror in the bedroom along with my sister and other aunts dancing to her favorite kind of music—bachata.  As a young girl, she was teaching me how to dance this the ‘right way’… you know, gotta move the hips right… gotta have some flavor… cuz anybody can do 1-2-3-tap.  I think. 

We were shocked by her death.  I dream about her very frequently.  And many times, I just make believe that she’s in Dominican Republic (DR) with her family—and that this is why I don’t see her anymore.

Well… the reason I share this is because all her life here in America, she worked like a horse.  We all admit that her job was especially very hard physically on anybody.  But one of the things I admired about her was that every single year, she took a three month vacation to DR to be with her family.  She always brought to DR lots of clothes and toys for the kids over there.

And then I wondered… are we meant to just work and work and work without any real enjoyment of family and friends… even enjoyment of the money we’re working so hard to earn?  I don’t think so.  It’d be so sad to find oneself working non-stop and then realize that ‘life passed you by’…  I don’t think other countries are as ‘fast-paced’ as America is… maybe it’s what keeps up “#1”?  I’m happy my aunt took her three months off from work to visit her family in DR… I’m glad her job allowed her to do this.

So I’ve been inspired by Tyler at www.advancedriskology.com to live my life—to live my dreams, without fear.  To be one of those people who does what I’ve always ‘thought’ of doing, but never could.  I mean Tyler goes mountain climbing or skydiving for a job… he writes about his adventures and gets paid.  Me?  Well, get paid or not is not my main concern… right now.  LIVING the present to the best of my ability… I want to make sure I am.

Nowadays I have this desire to take on some sort of challenge—I don’t know—something I wouldn’t normally do.  And those who know me well know that I am safe… I do not like change.  I resist change.  I would prefer to stay where I am and do what I’ve been doing forever… forever.  It’s safe.  It’s safe.  I’m a scaredy cat. 

I want to be bolder.  Actually, I am bold.  The last personality test I took at work showed courage to be my top strength.  I guess I’m not scared to speak in front of a public… or to voice my opinions even if they are not agreeable.  But I should take a test again… the year before that, my top strength was faith…  I just feel a bit different once again… just a bit… I need more faith… I need more courage… so I wonder what’s my top strength now?  hmmm.  Got it!  Living without sleep :).  LOL. 

I’ve listed some of my ‘challenges’ or ‘risks’, such as acting in plays and traveling, etc.  But I’ve also been wondering… what would happen if I actually TRULY believed God again?  I mean, I KNOW what could happen—in college!  I was a fire-ball.  I KNOW what has happened… very unbelievable-weird things.  I saw things and experienced things that left me dumbfounded by how much God loves His people.  It’s why I can’t EVER deny God.  Since I was 10 years old… He’s shown me things that are amazing.  He’s answered prayers that I’d feel a bit freaked out knowing Someone was actually listening to me.  So, because of my actual experiences, I cannot deny God and His existence.  It’s impossible.  I am grateful for what I’ve been blessed to know and be… because of Him.  I was raised without a dad around… but I always thought God was my Father.  As a young girl, I went to Him for anything.  And I truly truly believed He was listening… which is why I think those prayers were answered.

So life keeps happening. 

I understood Jesus and His purpose for coming to Earth in DR as a Catholic about to do my 1st communion.  I confessed all my sins to the priest… and felt oh-so-clean!  I believed Jesus forgave all my sins then.  I remember coming into my house and telling everyone that I’m sinless.  I remember sitting down on that white rocking chair and just enjoying being sinless… I was more like cautious… didn’t want to talk to anyone or do anything—in case I would say or do something wrong… and then tarnish my clean self :D.  But then, I realized that I could confess my sins every week at my Catholic church… and so I would always have a chance to ‘clear my heart’ and feel clean again. 

Jesus was my best friend growing up.  I remember crying when I was coming to New York for the first time ever.  I was sad that I may never be with Jesus again… since I was coming to “America”.  Now, I don’t know why.  But I don’t remember seeing a map of the world while I was in DR.  I only knew the map of DR.  I drew it.  So when someone said I was going to America… I thought it was another planet.  Really.  I was kind of disappointed when I came to “America” and I saw cars and streets and places to live that looked… normal.  I didn’t see anything ‘special’ as everyone used to talk about.  However, I soon realized that I could still have a relationship with Jesus in this normal ‘planet’.  Thanks to Grandma.  Her faith was and still is so refreshing.  I hope she is still just as faithful, even after what happened to her.  She’s a strong woman.  Every time I go visit her… I feel as though I have to—umm.  Fix up.  You know, do my hair and make up… eat a little extra and around her so she thinks I’m gaining weight :).  She always is concerned about everyone around her… especially me.  I love you Grandma.

So what if I actually took God at His words once again?  What if I did whatever He asked of me… with or without fear once again?  And then share my journey.  Just because I like to write.  And talk.  And don’t get to do it as much as I’d like.  I wonder… how can God use me now, as a mom?  I still haven’t found a comfy routine with 2 kids.  Oh, there’s a lesson!

Well, according to your personality or mood :):

Lesson 1:  When you do find a routine that works with two kids… Write it down!  You may forget.  I did.

or

Lesson 2:   Forget Lesson 1.  Just make sure kids eat… nap… go outside (when possible)… spend some quality time with you… at least once a week are exposed to other kids… and play.  Then you, just eat, sleep, shower (at some point), rest, do a load of laundry (or save to buy that oh-so-needed washing machine) and pick up as you go.  oh!  and don’t forget to bathe the kids during the week :).

Ha!  Easier said than done.

 

In regards to ‘believing God again’ challenge… I will begin… with Prov. 31 :)  next time.

And in regards to life… I’m living it.  For the first time ever… (drumroll please)… I have straightened my hair—I mean, I have chemically damaged my hair so that it is straight and NOT curly anymore (until it grows out).  I know, I know… what did I do?  It took me a long time to make the decision.  But I thought—after 26 years of doing nothing but a ponytail and a bun… and spending an hour each week to distangle my curly hair, I just needed a break… something new.  AND I LOVE IT!  I was so happy when my hair was rinsed out and the woman at the salon could actually pass a brush through my hair.  and it was sooo long.  Anyway, I took a risk.  Now I want to get highlights in the future.  :D

Now… what is God’s will for my life?

My Baby Mya!

 

My pregnancy with Mya

Was not that comfortable… compared to my first pregnancy.

I went to my friends’ wedding and I thought I’d be able to ‘dance all night’ like I did with my first… but, no.  I was so uncomfortable and crampy, I couldn’t dance much at all.

I was so crampy by the last month.  So uncomfortable.  I’d be walking and suddenly I’d get a strong cramp on one side of my hip.  I’d have to hold on to someone or something.  I felt so handicapped.  I was afraid to do anything… lift, even walk at times, thinking I’d get the cramp.

Mya was due June 30th.  She was born a day after—July 1st.  I secretly did pray it was in July… (thank you God).  I just wanted her in July because Jonas was in August… so they’re right next to each other :)  Maybe the next one will come in June… just kidding.  Ok, maybe not.

My water did not brake first this time around.  I felt like a new mom, asking people ‘how does it feel when you’re in labor?’  ‘How will I know I’m in labor if my water doesn’t brake?’  Lesson learned:  Umm.  People forget so easily.  Well, people like me.  The doc said this is why women keep having children :).

The answer to my questions:  You’ll KNOW when you’re in labor. 

I kept hearing that the 2nd baby comes faster.  My fear was that I’d be in labor, not know it, and then have the baby without an expert around.  :D  and then my midwife said:  “you’ve been watching too much t.v.”  Yeah.  You know that show ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’?… I don’t watch it anymore.

Labor with Mya

So, I knew I was in labor when at 1 a.m. I’m feeling contractions but they’re not stopping… they continue around every 5-10 min and they’re stronger than my ‘cramps’.  So, I get up, and call the nurse to let her know and to remind me when I should go to the hospital.  I just have to wait until the pain is so strong that I can’t talk during a contraction.  I think knowing this, I started thinking that I couldn’t talk anymore during a contraction :0  Well, I waited until the pain got stronger.  I couldn’t sleep… so I cleaned and asked DH to help me some.  And so I was awake and ready in the middle of the night.  I couldn’t believe my husband was sleeping.  I thought he should be chatting with me.  So I felt neglected.  (I was so energized, emotional, and sensitive).  Not sleeping ended up being a BIG MISTAKE!

Okay so I go to the hospital around 6-7 a.m.  I’m eventually told that (although I’m having consistent contractions every 5-7 min) I’m not really in labor yet.  These contractions didn’t get ‘closer’ like my first pregnancy… they continued 5-7 min.  They just felt really strong when they did come.  So the nurse asks me to go for a walk around Boston (where the hospital was located) or go watch a movie etc.  since I wasn’t dilating.  YEAH RIGHT!  I was crying the whole time mainly in between contractions because I wanted to sleep.  I was sooo sleepy I couldn’t think, and I didn’t want to go through labor or watch a movie… I just wanted to sleep.  So I asked the nurse if I could just go home so I could sleep… and she says no… since they never know how fast I may be ready. 

I ended up just staying in the hospital… I had some nurses who talked her out of her ideas… and to let me sleep some.

I wanted an epidural right away so I could sleep (I knew I would have it), but they said they don’t give epidurals until I’m 4 cm dilated.  Dang, I still had to go through pain to give birth :)  I learned how to relax (I call it ‘take the pain without screaming-just grit your teeth’ :))… Water helped me—I’m not sure why… and helped me dilate faster… in both pregnancies.

At 5 cm. epidural was given… and I slept a bit.  Yay!

I gave birth to Mya at 8:38 p.m.  And I recovered in a room # 838… hmm.  weird.  I guess she was out in 2 pushes… I think 5 min.  I guess this is impressive, but it just seems normal to me.  There was a teeny bit of meconium, so she didn’t come out right into my arms… she came and first was thoroughly cleaned by docs.  I thought they were taking too long, so I started telling them to ‘give me my baby’… lol, I’m silly.

Mya wasn’t so alert… she was sleepy.  She sleeps a lot.  She always sleeps… I was trying to wake her up in the beginning to try and feed her in the middle of the night.  Today… at 2 mths, I’m proud to say she sleeps from around 9 p.m. to around 5 a.m. (give or take an hour) and she’s growing very well:)… thank you God.

Wait… I think she just woke up (12:40 am).  Hmm.  There goes my boast of her sleeping through the night :) 

Lesson learned:  It doesn’t always go as you plan… or… once you think you got a routine down, it changes on ya… or… once you think they sleep through the night… they don’t  :)

I love my little girl. 

First Year Winding Down

 

About My First Year of Parenthood:

Wow.  Almost a year has gone by… I can’t believe it.  Time goes by SO FAST! 

During this year, I’ve felt:  scared, happy, excited, nervous, amazing love, peace, confusion, sad, TIRED, sleepy, etc.

Nervous.  When I found out I was pregnant because I fear changes in life.  Sometimes I like to be in control of situations and when something new comes up, I may get anxious that I may not know EVERYTHING about the new situation.  This is okay.  I prayed to God to take over the raising up of my son.  And surrendered…  That was it. :)  Having my husband’s and family’s full support helped a lot.

Happy.  Oh finally I started gaining weight, and it was effortless.  I was hungry a lot and thirsty a whole lot… it was good.

Excited.  To have a new baby boy.  I didn’t even know what it meant really.

Full of love.  My baby is SO CUTE!  Of course I think he’s the cutest in the whole world!!!  I have this new understanding that I would really give my life for him.  He’s made me tap into a side of me that was dormant.  I now wake up earlier to feed him and it’s become automatic.  I’m learning how to read what he needs when.  I want to be home at night so that he goes to sleep peacefully when he’s ready to (around 7pm).  And I know that soon enough I’m also going to cook (as I haven’t done before) more consistently for him… since I can’t just order out for him.  But I actually want to do this for him.  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!  Sometimes, I think I know better than the doctors what’s best for him.

I’ve learned that…

• Humans have a LOT of potential that many don’t tap into until they HAVE to.
• I really do know better than doctors (many times) what my son needs best.  Um… I also do LOTS of research.
• My son gets really tired and very cranky when he does not get his nap.
• I need to model good behavior and be a good example.  Stop yelling, or any behavior I wouldn’t like to see in him.
• I will be my best if I’m at peace, I’m patient and kind.
• YES!  Discipline works!  I do believe in disciplining a child (training him) to learn what ‘no’ means… when necessary.
• My son knows what ‘no’ means.  When he disobeys, he gets a consequence (just consistency in making sure he doesn’t disobey)...
• I learned to only say ‘no’ when necessary… it’s better when young to just distract him and help him know what else he can do instead of that forbidden thing.  But for the one thing I will say NO to… when he disobeys, I put him in his playpen, letting him know he couldn’t touch whatever.  It worked! Wow, to see a child hang out a whole day and not even TOUCH that thing he shouldn’t when it’s right in front of him… I think it’s every mother’s dream!
• I also need to learn to respect when he says ‘no’ (for food, or toys, etc.)  If we respect his no, he’ll also learn to respect our no’s… I hope.

Now I feel more like a mother than EVER before.  I understand so much more the sacrifices moms make and I respect EVERY mom that’s raising their child even more.

I’ve grown in ways I never knew I could… Trust me, getting up at 1am, 4am, 6am, 8am… and then having to go to work and do your best… Yep, I was put to the test.  I’ve found strength when I thought I couldn’t do anything more.

I love my son.  He now stands up and cruises around the house.  He now tries to let go of whatever he’s holding to stand on his own.  And there am I… Clapping every time he does it.  He claps also.  He loves to dance and music.  He’ll play it from this toy and just start dancing and clapping and when it stops playing, he’ll go and turn it on again, and again, and again, and again.  My baby.

The doctor wanted me to take him in just for a weight check.  I’m thinking, “why?”  I think they just want more money or something.  I’m not going in.  I’ll weigh him myself if I needed to. 

FINALLY…

I’ve learned that this is HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Talk about full time job.  I now not only have to think about when I need to eat, drink, bathe, sleep, do laundry, go shopping for all my clothes or groceries, I now ALSO have to think when BABY needs ALL THESE THINGS and hopefully HUBBY can figure his own self out ;).  And this doesn’t include cleaning the home… geez… I would like to just hire a maid.

And yet… How important it is for me to connect with friends and have some fun!  Being a parent has also brought a “funner” side of me… I have all these aspirations and things I’d like to do that I never thought of before… things like going rock climbing, hiking, camping (uggh, I don’t really like to do this—but I’m willing), visit family and eat their food… oh yeah, this is my favorite.  I LOVE TO EAT, as long as I don’t have to cook.  Hmm.

Thank you Father for the gift you’ve given me.  Thank you for caring for my family and loving us.  Thank you for your mercy and patience.  Thank you for life.  Thank you for Jesus.  Thank you for minimizing drama in our lives.  Thank you for your wisdom and insight.  LORD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE… help me be more patient and kind to my son and husband ALL THE TIME.  Give me the wisdom we need to train him in your ways and discipline him as needed… in love not in anger.  PLEASE take over where we fall short.  PLEASE take over where we fall short.  PLEASE do as you will in his life and ours.  Please help LOVE to always abide in our home and protect it from all evil.  Guide our son to love you and Jesus all the days of his life.  Thank you for being my Dad all through my life—YOU HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN ME.  We love you and trust in you.   

Us.

Jonas is eating :)

I was so wary of Jonas beginning to eat solids.

But now he’s on his way… growing and growing.

He eats his cereal.  I nurse still.  He eats fruit and veggies.

He likes sweet potatoes and pears and he LOVES his rice cereal.

He still has a nasal congestion (since birth)  I hope one day it goes away.

LESSON LEARNED:  I can give him his rice cereal mixed with the fruit.

I don’t have much milk left to pump so I bought some formula in case I’m not around and he’s hungry.

How dumb.  I threw away a formula that was mailed to me for free… because I didn’t want the ‘temptation’ to use formula instead of breastfeeding.  Hmm.  Bad choice… waste of money.

LESSON LEARNED:  Respect formulas, they’re expensive and may be necessary and easier to give than nursing…

Nursing takes SO MUCH out of me.  I wanted to gain weight.  Um.  Nursing doesn’t help in ANY WAY achieve this goal.

But, it is what is best for my baby.  I believe for the first 6 months—yes.  After this, introducing some formula when needed will not hurt.

Yay!  My breasts want a break!

Today’s Achievements are Tomorrow’s Memories

Jonas is 6 months old already!  Wow.  Time goes by so quickly.  I get a little bit sad just thinking that it’s time to begin weaning baby from the breast.  uugghhh!  I don’t really want to.  For some reason I feel so attached to baby.  Weaning him makes me feel as though I won’t have a baby anymore who’s looking to me ONLY as him main source of food.  It just feels good to be needed!  I guess I will still be needed… He will still need someone to feed him—but since I work, I won’t be the main person :(  Life!  Just gotta deal with it.

DH got another side job!  I’m so happy.  His new job is going to help us be a little bit more stable AND I won’t have the pressure of needing to work more hours anymore.  Thank you God!

At 6 months, Jonas:

• laughs and squeals and screams laugh
• is SO LONG compared to before, he’s beginning to thin out
• has scratched his face pretty bad 2 times already—I had to cut his nails even shorter
• has scratched me pretty bad—hey, I’m getting on top of this nail-cutting thing!
• has started solids (sweet potatoes, rice cereal, applesauce)
• eats solids better if they’re not cold
• still breastfeeds exclusively (thinking about switching to formula for the next 6 months? it’s very draining)
• FINALLY is rolling around often.  I knew he could do it, but he just did it when he REALLY felt like it (which was almost never :))  Now he rolls more frequently while on the floor.
• In the walker, he pushes the walker backwards and now he’s starting to push forward (just a little bit, yay!)
• BABBLES like crazy in the mornings!
• Groans when hungry or tired.
• has been nasally congested since birth… more like has phlegm since birth.
• sleeps through the night (8pm to 8pm)… he still wakes up in the middle of the night and I still feed him… but tonight he slept in his own crib, woke up and groaned/cried a little and I waited for a real cry… didn’t happen, went to sleep.
• sleeps in his crib without fussing—yay!
• recognizes his parents.
• starts crying with strangers (I think it depends on his mood and only when they’re trying to hold him)
• is loved a lot.
• can stand while being held by both hands, when he bends, he’s able to get himself up again.
• is learning to grasp balls, etc.  They end on the floor.
• Never cried for bath time (after first bath from auntie :))
• has woken up various times at night coughing and vomiting.
• took his first medicine—pink it was.
• said “la la la la”
• likes raspberries (sound)
• when in bed with us, tries to be close to both of us.

Lessons I’ve Learned:

• When I start feeling like he’s scratching me, cut his nails shorter.
• I haven’t babyproofed really yet… but I find myself aware of our surrounding even more now.  My plan is to keep cleaning the house and babyproofing along the way.
• When he starts crying in the middle of the night, if he’s on his crib, let him fuss for a while and wait before going to him.
• Baby is growing.  This is good.  Even though it’s a little sad to me.
• HUMIDIFIER has helped his nasal congestion and mine (I didn’t even know I was affected until I started breathing better at night)

Father, thank you so much for my beautiful family.  Thank you for your protection in our lives.  Thank you for promising to always take care of us in our times of need and always.  Thank you for your grace and your wisdom and your peace… and Jesus.  I pray Lord for strength and wisdom for this next part of our journey.  Please help me to have your peace in my heart.  Help me to get my security from you and not people or things around me that change so frequently.  Help me to be happier, to see things around me in a lighter-non-offensive kind of way.  Not to take everything so personal.  Help me to be more loving.  We love you Lord.

D.

Jonas was sick…

My baby had the cold… and then I had the cold… then we both had it together… and can you believe it?  Daddy was fine and healthy.  Strong man he is.

Well, my fear with Jonas getting sick is that he would not be able to breathe.  When I can’t breathe, I get so ANNOYED!

At the beginning of the cold, he was very fussy.  Anytime we put him down, he would cry.  I think it got harder to breathe when laying down.  He began with a small fever, 100.4.  He lost his voice.  It was cute to watch him utter his grunts and they sounded sick.  He had a lot to cough out, but he didn’t know to cough it out or to sniff out the mucus.  I just watched, heard, was alert… but there was not much I could do.

I didn’t give him Tylenol.  I was waiting to see if the fever got higher, it didn’t.  I was waiting to see if he was in any kind of pain or real uncomfortability he was fine.  He was a good sick baby.  Better than I thought he was going to be.

We’re still getting over the cold.  All we have left is some coughing here and there.

Lessons to be learned:  AVOID GETTING SICK

-WASH MY HANDS ALL THE TIME (to avoid others’ germs and avoid passing them)

-Eat well, Drink well, Sleep well.

-Avoid touching my face too much.

-At the first sign of a cold, drink tea with ginger and lemon.  (I heard it helped get rid of the cold… I want to try it).

If I do get sick, since no matter what I do sometimes we’ll still get sick…

-Stay home, drink soup, rest.  This helps me heal quicker.

Sometimes I wish I didn’t live in such a cold place… so that I don’t get sick that much.  But in someway… in some weird way… I believe it’s a blessing.  Thank you God.

Laughter Is So Good...

My baby laughs everytime I sing "the wheels on the bus"... I emphasize and exaggerate every word. He loves it!

I love to hear him laugh! He's soooo cute!

Raspberries make him laugh...

Any kind of sillyness, really.

I was thinking today how MUCH FUN I had as a young girl.

In DR, I played so many games all day. Games such as: Hopscotch, Yun, La Latica (Hide n' Seek), Marishal Pasando Lista (Marshall Taking Attendance), cops and robbers... So much fun!

When I came to America I was upset that now I was mostly inside 4 walls- BORING!
TV became the thing to do because there was nothing else to do. Unbelievable!

I dreaded becoming an adult. It seemed as though they took EVERYTHING SO SERIOUSLY! They looked boring... not too much laughter in their lives.

Then I started working full time... there hardly was any time to have just much fun after college.

I need laughter in my life... I think I need to focus on just building friendships with the people in my life. Then maybe, we'll get adventurous some times.

Spoiling My Baby? Or Loving My Baby? Part 2

What I've learned is:

When I answered my baby's cries and tried to meet all of his needs...
Baby was happier (me too) and cried less.

HE WAS THE BEST BABY EVER!

He slept with me on the bed... I fed him when he wanted to be fed... I held him when he cried and tried to figure out what was wrong.
In every instance, I've learned that he always cried for something... He wasn't trying to 'play' me at all.

Now at 4 months, he sleeps 10 hours a day! I'm glad. But he was always a baby that knew the difference between day and night since he's always slept longer at night.

He wasn't like this the day we came from the hospital. He cried when I was just trying to change his diaper. When I decided to meet his needs no matter how 'inconvenient' it was for me, I guess he began trusting me that I would meet all of his needs... and voila, what a great baby.

Even now that he cries more that before... I notice he still always cries for a reason... he's hungry, tired, needs diaper changed...

Now, do I think I've found the perfect formula to raise great, no crying babies?? NO! I've asked around and have learned that Every baby is different... they have their own personalities.

Hey, maybe he took after me... I didn't really cry much when I was a baby.
Who knows if my next baby will be a crier even if I'm meeting all his/her needs?
I hope this is the formula: love, meet baby's needs willingly= happy baby

I'll find out after my next baby. GOD WILLING.

D.

Spoiling My Baby? Or Loving My Baby?

So baby is born.

He cries when he's born... as soon as I breastfeed him, he's fine.

He slept. And was breastfed. I was determined to breastfeed him on demand--even if it took doing this each hour... which it did.

As long as I held him, he was fine. The minute he was placed down to sleep, he woke up and began crying... SO I kept holding him. And we slept together. And that first day, I actually slept well... with him on me. I thought it was very nice.

"oh, you're really spoiling him" says one of the nurses.
Oh GREAT!!! Guilt-trip!
(I think: Does this nurse have children??? What does she expect me to do? Let him cry through the whole night? Or let him cry til he goes to sleep??? On the first day of his birth!?)

"you can't spoil a baby" says a lactation consultant.
oh GREAT!!! How come no one else seems to know this bit of information???
(I was just confused there were so many opinions about parenting from different professionals--which one do I listen to?)

Baby is crying. His diaper is fine. He was just fed. He's trying to suck his fingers, but can't find them. What then? Let him "cry it out"?
NOOOOOO!!!! It's more stressful ON ME! I'm barely getting some sleep... and I have to let him "cry it out"?????????????????????
So, I give him a pacifier. I can't hold him ALL day.
BUT... he doesn't take it. He actually 'gags' it out.
So, I gave him my finger to suck on until he 'finds' his own... and he's fine.

I'm a person that wants to do the 'right thing'. So I was VERY CONFUSED there that there were so many opinions.

BABY TRAINERS VS. ATTACHED PARENTING

Baby trainers say: "let him cry it out", "Don't let him suck his thumb", "don't let him sleep on you, you're spoiling him", "don't spoil him--you'll regret it later", "Don't give him a pacifier!", "babies do not sleep with their parents", "don't rock him, nurse him, do anything to help him sleep-- let him learn to sleep on his own".

I'VE RECEIVED ALL OF THESE ADVICES!!! ALL OF THESE ADVICES ARE BASED ON THE FEAR THAT THE BABY WILL ADOPT BAD HABITS THAT WILL INCONVENIENCE OUR LIVES!!!!!!!

FEARS:
1) I don't want a spoiled child.
SPOILED CHILD= a child who gets what he wants all the time. When you don't give him what he wants, he cries. And he will keep crying and raging until you give him what he wants.
Inconvenience= a disrespectful child who wants his own way and will not obey what I say. I will be embarrassed in public with such child.

2) I don't want my child to have damaged teeth because they are sucking their thumb when they're older.
Inconvenience= My child's mouth will look different... and it's a little embarrassing to see an older child sucking their thumb... and I will need to spend money on braces, etc.

3)If baby sleeps on me, he will ONLY want to sleep on me. He'll never want to sleep on his own bed by himself.
Inconvenience= I'll never be able to sleep in my own bed without baby.

I'll share what I've experienced in the next post.

Back To Work...

I thought that going back to work was going to be harder. I guess I really needed some time to socialize with other people and to help others also.

However, after a week, I'm feeling like I want to be attached to my baby all day... so that he never forgets me :)

Baby started going to 'daycare' which is really 'grandmas' care' this past week from Mon-Thurs. On Wednesday night I was in shock with Jonas. He was SO HYPER... He was crying... He seemed like a totally different baby than the one I knew so well. I had no idea why he was crying--I usually know almost all the time what's his need. I felt a little bit like when I came home from the hospital--not really knowing why this baby was crying and feeling a little down.

It is so hard to think that there's a part of my baby's life that I'm not sharing (while he's at daycare). I can feel like I'm missing out. I'm scared he won't recognize me one day.

UGGH... the worst part is trying to figure out when to breastfeed and pump. Gosh, I was hurting this past week. And now, baby has to work a little bit harder to get milk.

I have to work because there are bills to pay. So I will believe the best of the situation. Jonas will recognize his beautiful, awesome, best mommy... He will love me above all... He will want me to care for his boo-boos in the end... God will raise him up to know and love Him... Our bills will get paid... Jonas will be disciplined the way I want him to be... It will all be good in the end. Oh, and I will have enough milk for baby, I'm not really going to dry out.

"Let it be according to your faith"-- Jesus.

Oh Lord, thank you so much for my little baby boy.
I love him so much. I want what's best for him out of this life.
I want him to know You and love You and honor You all days of his life.
I want him to be respectful to everyone.
To obey those that are authority in his life.
To be a nice person. A patient man.
Who respects women as he grows up.
Who cares about others' needs as he grows up.
Who will marry a God-fearing decent woman when he grows up.
Who will not conform and will not accept the ways of this world.
Who will stand up for what he believes in and not be swayed by the world's standards.
Who will be HONEST... regardless of the consequences.
Who will FOLLOW YOU and LOVE YOU FIRST in his life.
Who will make it through this life... and make it to heaven.
Help him PLEASE. SHOW HIM why it is worth living.
Show him your TRUTH. Show him also the lies so that he may hate that path.
Help him to be wise. Guide him whatever he may walk... that he may always come back to You. That his comfort would always be with You.
That just in case I'm not around to keep praying... that You Lord will please answer all of my prayers.
Thank you Lord.
I love You.

Halloween??

Baby is too young to go "trick-or-treating"...
However, I can't help but think about what it would be like when he is older.
Would we enjoy this holiday or not? I've read the why yes and why nots...

YES--
I'd like to take my child trick-or-treating. I did it when younger and it was a lot of fun. I just liked dressing up and getting candy.

NO--
I definitely do not want to in any way celebrate demons and witchcraft, etc. I'm not sure that going and getting some candy tells the world that I agree with the darkness and evil deeds. Any holiday can be used to do wrong things... I'm thinking it's all about our hearts...

I believe, that as a Christian, I am free... but that I need to use my freedom to do good.
I don't believe that dressing up and getting candy tell people that I'm on the side of evilness... or that I hinder them from believing in Christ.
I believe this holiday does in some way celebrate evil... but why not use this day to do good? I could share my faith... make sure that my child dresses up in good costumes, not evil...
Now about the candy... I'm thinking I don't want my son enjoying too much candy. It just doesn't do kids well to eat too much candy I think.

Well... I could do both decisions (yes or no) and be okay.

I'll choose next year... I don't want to say something today and change what I say later on.

Til' next year...

My Baby Jonas!

Jonas is almost 3 months old now.
As a new mommy, I've learned MANY things.

One of these I learned when pregnant: THINGS WILL NOT ALWAYS GO YOUR WAY.

I thought I'd never get heartburn, I did.
Oh, and it felt so bad. I didn't like it... and I also stopped drinking orange juice thinking this may have been the cause.

I thought I would never get stretch marks since I put on lotion religiously and my skin is dark, and my mom never got any... but I did.
And I cried. And cried. One day on my last month I wake up and see some marks on my belly. OMG!!! STRETCH MARKS! I thought my life was ruined. I would never have a smooth belly ever again. DH assured me everything was okay, that he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful with them, that they represented Jonas--so it's all good.
I LOVE JONAS and I wouldn't EVER trade anything for him (of course), so if my stretch marks were one of the costs of having Jonas in my life... so be it.
But I still do miss my smooth, flat belly... Life.

I thought I would deliver my baby without an epidural... I used the epidural.
I was the first to think "I will never use the epidural". I condemned it as an unnatural way to give birth. God didn't make the epidural, I'd think.
WELL... Here's my labor story :) I do believe (now) the epidural is God inspired...

The labor was LONG. My water broke at 5:38am... I was waiting for my 'labor pains' to be 4 min. apart before going into the hospital. I called my 'clinic' just to let them know. My contractions began to be constant - every 4 min. at 3:30 pm. I waited 1hour to make sure they were constant before going into the hospital (they wanted me to call when my contractions were consistent). I got to the hospital by 5:30pm.

My doc (at the clinic) had checked my cervix to see how much I was dilated at 2pm... she couldn't see because of the fluid or something.
So I couldn't be checked again because there's risk of infection.
So we were waiting until I was in REALLY bad pain before checking.

The contractions began getting closer and closer together...
And stronger and stronger...
By the time they were every 2 min. apart and I was not able to walk anymore and I was crying like a baby... it was 11:30 pm... 8hrs in labor!!!

So the doc checked me to see how far I was...

I was 4 CENTIMETERS dilated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I WAS SO MAD!!!!!!!!!!! I was like: "WHAT??!!" I'm taking all this pain thinking I'm 'moving along'... in case you didn't know-- 4 cent. is the beginning of labor pains. I needed to get to 10 centimeters and the pain is supposed to get even worst.
I was SO UPSET; I didn't want to use the epidural... but it would take 1hour for each centimeter. So basically we had 6 hours to go.
YEAH RIGHT!!!! Epidural time!

The epidural was a right decision for me. My mom and husband were able to sleep. I wasn't in unbearable pain for 6 more hours. And the contractions were going along very well... the baby was also doing well. So everything was going fine... as it should... just I didn't have to suffer more :).

At 5 am I was 10 cent dilated. The midwife got the nurse... they began helping me 'push' at 5:15am (I couldn't feel half of my body... so I 'made believe' I was pushing, but I couldn't feel it :))
The docs told me it would take around 2 hours for baby to come out because of the epidural and me not feeling the 'push' etc.

BABY CAME OUT IN 20 MINUTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At 5:34 am he was born!!!

The docs were impressed I pushed so well. I thank God now that He helped this go quick because I was so tired.

I didn't get cut (episiotomy). I healed down there very quickly... I think. But everything went great.

Baby was so alert when he came out.

Lesson Learned-- never judge someone else... or walk in someone else's shoes before making the judgment :)