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Saturday, June 13, 2009

First Year Winding Down

 

About My First Year of Parenthood:

Wow.  Almost a year has gone by… I can’t believe it.  Time goes by SO FAST! 

During this year, I’ve felt:  scared, happy, excited, nervous, amazing love, peace, confusion, sad, TIRED, sleepy, etc.

Nervous.  When I found out I was pregnant because I fear changes in life.  Sometimes I like to be in control of situations and when something new comes up, I may get anxious that I may not know EVERYTHING about the new situation.  This is okay.  I prayed to God to take over the raising up of my son.  And surrendered…  That was it. :)  Having my husband’s and family’s full support helped a lot.

Happy.  Oh finally I started gaining weight, and it was effortless.  I was hungry a lot and thirsty a whole lot… it was good.

Excited.  To have a new baby boy.  I didn’t even know what it meant really.

Full of love.  My baby is SO CUTE!  Of course I think he’s the cutest in the whole world!!!  I have this new understanding that I would really give my life for him.  He’s made me tap into a side of me that was dormant.  I now wake up earlier to feed him and it’s become automatic.  I’m learning how to read what he needs when.  I want to be home at night so that he goes to sleep peacefully when he’s ready to (around 7pm).  And I know that soon enough I’m also going to cook (as I haven’t done before) more consistently for him… since I can’t just order out for him.  But I actually want to do this for him.  I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!  Sometimes, I think I know better than the doctors what’s best for him.

I’ve learned that…

  • Humans have a LOT of potential that many don’t tap into until they HAVE to.
  • I really do know better than doctors (many times) what my son needs best.  Um… I also do LOTS of research.
  • My son gets really tired and very cranky when he does not get his nap.
  • I need to model good behavior and be a good example.  Stop yelling, or any behavior I wouldn’t like to see in him.
  • I will be my best if I’m at peace, I’m patient and kind.
  • YES!  Discipline works!  I do believe in disciplining a child (training him) to learn what ‘no’ means… when necessary.
    • My son knows what ‘no’ means.  When he disobeys, he gets a consequence (just consistency in making sure he doesn’t disobey)...
      • I learned to only say ‘no’ when necessary… it’s better when young to just distract him and help him know what else he can do instead of that forbidden thing.  But for the one thing I will say NO to… when he disobeys, I put him in his playpen, letting him know he couldn’t touch whatever.  It worked! Wow, to see a child hang out a whole day and not even TOUCH that thing he shouldn’t when it’s right in front of him… I think it’s every mother’s dream!
    • I also need to learn to respect when he says ‘no’ (for food, or toys, etc.)  If we respect his no, he’ll also learn to respect our no’s… I hope.

Now I feel more like a mother than EVER before.  I understand so much more the sacrifices moms make and I respect EVERY mom that’s raising their child even more.

I’ve grown in ways I never knew I could… Trust me, getting up at 1am, 4am, 6am, 8am… and then having to go to work and do your best… Yep, I was put to the test.  I’ve found strength when I thought I couldn’t do anything more.

I love my son.  He now stands up and cruises around the house.  He now tries to let go of whatever he’s holding to stand on his own.  And there am I… Clapping every time he does it.  He claps also.  He loves to dance and music.  He’ll play it from this toy and just start dancing and clapping and when it stops playing, he’ll go and turn it on again, and again, and again, and again.  My baby.

The doctor wanted me to take him in just for a weight check.  I’m thinking, “why?”  I think they just want more money or something.  I’m not going in.  I’ll weigh him myself if I needed to. 

FINALLY…

I’ve learned that this is HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!

Talk about full time job.  I now not only have to think about when I need to eat, drink, bathe, sleep, do laundry, go shopping for all my clothes or groceries, I now ALSO have to think when BABY needs ALL THESE THINGS and hopefully HUBBY can figure his own self out ;).  And this doesn’t include cleaning the home… geez… I would like to just hire a maid.

And yet… How important it is for me to connect with friends and have some fun!  Being a parent has also brought a “funner” side of me… I have all these aspirations and things I’d like to do that I never thought of before… things like going rock climbing, hiking, camping (uggh, I don’t really like to do this—but I’m willing), visit family and eat their food… oh yeah, this is my favorite.  I LOVE TO EAT, as long as I don’t have to cook.  Hmm.

Thank you Father for the gift you’ve given me.  Thank you for caring for my family and loving us.  Thank you for your mercy and patience.  Thank you for life.  Thank you for Jesus.  Thank you for minimizing drama in our lives.  Thank you for your wisdom and insight.  LORD, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE… help me be more patient and kind to my son and husband ALL THE TIME.  Give me the wisdom we need to train him in your ways and discipline him as needed… in love not in anger.  PLEASE take over where we fall short.  PLEASE take over where we fall short.  PLEASE do as you will in his life and ours.  Please help LOVE to always abide in our home and protect it from all evil.  Guide our son to love you and Jesus all the days of his life.  Thank you for being my Dad all through my life—YOU HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN ME.  We love you and trust in you.   

Us.