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Sunday, November 23, 2008

Spoiling My Baby? Or Loving My Baby?

So baby is born.

He cries when he's born... as soon as I breastfeed him, he's fine.

He slept. And was breastfed. I was determined to breastfeed him on demand--even if it took doing this each hour... which it did.

As long as I held him, he was fine. The minute he was placed down to sleep, he woke up and began crying... SO I kept holding him. And we slept together. And that first day, I actually slept well... with him on me. I thought it was very nice.

"oh, you're really spoiling him" says one of the nurses.
Oh GREAT!!! Guilt-trip!
(I think: Does this nurse have children??? What does she expect me to do? Let him cry through the whole night? Or let him cry til he goes to sleep??? On the first day of his birth!?)

"you can't spoil a baby" says a lactation consultant.
oh GREAT!!! How come no one else seems to know this bit of information???
(I was just confused there were so many opinions about parenting from different professionals--which one do I listen to?)

Baby is crying. His diaper is fine. He was just fed. He's trying to suck his fingers, but can't find them. What then? Let him "cry it out"?
NOOOOOO!!!! It's more stressful ON ME! I'm barely getting some sleep... and I have to let him "cry it out"?????????????????????
So, I give him a pacifier. I can't hold him ALL day.
BUT... he doesn't take it. He actually 'gags' it out.
So, I gave him my finger to suck on until he 'finds' his own... and he's fine.

I'm a person that wants to do the 'right thing'. So I was VERY CONFUSED there that there were so many opinions.

BABY TRAINERS VS. ATTACHED PARENTING

Baby trainers say: "let him cry it out", "Don't let him suck his thumb", "don't let him sleep on you, you're spoiling him", "don't spoil him--you'll regret it later", "Don't give him a pacifier!", "babies do not sleep with their parents", "don't rock him, nurse him, do anything to help him sleep-- let him learn to sleep on his own".

I'VE RECEIVED ALL OF THESE ADVICES!!! ALL OF THESE ADVICES ARE BASED ON THE FEAR THAT THE BABY WILL ADOPT BAD HABITS THAT WILL INCONVENIENCE OUR LIVES!!!!!!!

FEARS:
1) I don't want a spoiled child.
SPOILED CHILD= a child who gets what he wants all the time. When you don't give him what he wants, he cries. And he will keep crying and raging until you give him what he wants.
Inconvenience= a disrespectful child who wants his own way and will not obey what I say. I will be embarrassed in public with such child.

2) I don't want my child to have damaged teeth because they are sucking their thumb when they're older.
Inconvenience= My child's mouth will look different... and it's a little embarrassing to see an older child sucking their thumb... and I will need to spend money on braces, etc.

3)If baby sleeps on me, he will ONLY want to sleep on me. He'll never want to sleep on his own bed by himself.
Inconvenience= I'll never be able to sleep in my own bed without baby.

I'll share what I've experienced in the next post.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Back To Work...

I thought that going back to work was going to be harder. I guess I really needed some time to socialize with other people and to help others also.

However, after a week, I'm feeling like I want to be attached to my baby all day... so that he never forgets me :)

Baby started going to 'daycare' which is really 'grandmas' care' this past week from Mon-Thurs. On Wednesday night I was in shock with Jonas. He was SO HYPER... He was crying... He seemed like a totally different baby than the one I knew so well. I had no idea why he was crying--I usually know almost all the time what's his need. I felt a little bit like when I came home from the hospital--not really knowing why this baby was crying and feeling a little down.

It is so hard to think that there's a part of my baby's life that I'm not sharing (while he's at daycare). I can feel like I'm missing out. I'm scared he won't recognize me one day.

UGGH... the worst part is trying to figure out when to breastfeed and pump. Gosh, I was hurting this past week. And now, baby has to work a little bit harder to get milk.

I have to work because there are bills to pay. So I will believe the best of the situation. Jonas will recognize his beautiful, awesome, best mommy... He will love me above all... He will want me to care for his boo-boos in the end... God will raise him up to know and love Him... Our bills will get paid... Jonas will be disciplined the way I want him to be... It will all be good in the end. Oh, and I will have enough milk for baby, I'm not really going to dry out.

"Let it be according to your faith"-- Jesus.

Oh Lord, thank you so much for my little baby boy.
I love him so much. I want what's best for him out of this life.
I want him to know You and love You and honor You all days of his life.
I want him to be respectful to everyone.
To obey those that are authority in his life.
To be a nice person. A patient man.
Who respects women as he grows up.
Who cares about others' needs as he grows up.
Who will marry a God-fearing decent woman when he grows up.
Who will not conform and will not accept the ways of this world.
Who will stand up for what he believes in and not be swayed by the world's standards.
Who will be HONEST... regardless of the consequences.
Who will FOLLOW YOU and LOVE YOU FIRST in his life.
Who will make it through this life... and make it to heaven.
Help him PLEASE. SHOW HIM why it is worth living.
Show him your TRUTH. Show him also the lies so that he may hate that path.
Help him to be wise. Guide him whatever he may walk... that he may always come back to You. That his comfort would always be with You.
That just in case I'm not around to keep praying... that You Lord will please answer all of my prayers.
Thank you Lord.
I love You.

Sunday, November 2, 2008

Halloween??

Baby is too young to go "trick-or-treating"...
However, I can't help but think about what it would be like when he is older.
Would we enjoy this holiday or not? I've read the why yes and why nots...

YES--
I'd like to take my child trick-or-treating. I did it when younger and it was a lot of fun. I just liked dressing up and getting candy.

NO--
I definitely do not want to in any way celebrate demons and witchcraft, etc. I'm not sure that going and getting some candy tells the world that I agree with the darkness and evil deeds. Any holiday can be used to do wrong things... I'm thinking it's all about our hearts...

I believe, that as a Christian, I am free... but that I need to use my freedom to do good.
I don't believe that dressing up and getting candy tell people that I'm on the side of evilness... or that I hinder them from believing in Christ.
I believe this holiday does in some way celebrate evil... but why not use this day to do good? I could share my faith... make sure that my child dresses up in good costumes, not evil...
Now about the candy... I'm thinking I don't want my son enjoying too much candy. It just doesn't do kids well to eat too much candy I think.

Well... I could do both decisions (yes or no) and be okay.

I'll choose next year... I don't want to say something today and change what I say later on.

Til' next year...