I thought that going back to work was going to be harder. I guess I really needed some time to socialize with other people and to help others also.
However, after a week, I'm feeling like I want to be attached to my baby all day... so that he never forgets me :)
Baby started going to 'daycare' which is really 'grandmas' care' this past week from Mon-Thurs. On Wednesday night I was in shock with Jonas. He was SO HYPER... He was crying... He seemed like a totally different baby than the one I knew so well. I had no idea why he was crying--I usually know almost all the time what's his need. I felt a little bit like when I came home from the hospital--not really knowing why this baby was crying and feeling a little down.
It is so hard to think that there's a part of my baby's life that I'm not sharing (while he's at daycare). I can feel like I'm missing out. I'm scared he won't recognize me one day.
UGGH... the worst part is trying to figure out when to breastfeed and pump. Gosh, I was hurting this past week. And now, baby has to work a little bit harder to get milk.
I have to work because there are bills to pay. So I will believe the best of the situation. Jonas will recognize his beautiful, awesome, best mommy... He will love me above all... He will want me to care for his boo-boos in the end... God will raise him up to know and love Him... Our bills will get paid... Jonas will be disciplined the way I want him to be... It will all be good in the end. Oh, and I will have enough milk for baby, I'm not really going to dry out.
"Let it be according to your faith"-- Jesus.
Oh Lord, thank you so much for my little baby boy.
I love him so much. I want what's best for him out of this life.
I want him to know You and love You and honor You all days of his life.
I want him to be respectful to everyone.
To obey those that are authority in his life.
To be a nice person. A patient man.
Who respects women as he grows up.
Who cares about others' needs as he grows up.
Who will marry a God-fearing decent woman when he grows up.
Who will not conform and will not accept the ways of this world.
Who will stand up for what he believes in and not be swayed by the world's standards.
Who will be HONEST... regardless of the consequences.
Who will FOLLOW YOU and LOVE YOU FIRST in his life.
Who will make it through this life... and make it to heaven.
Help him PLEASE. SHOW HIM why it is worth living.
Show him your TRUTH. Show him also the lies so that he may hate that path.
Help him to be wise. Guide him whatever he may walk... that he may always come back to You. That his comfort would always be with You.
That just in case I'm not around to keep praying... that You Lord will please answer all of my prayers.
Thank you Lord.
I love You.